Press Your Stupids

Last week I had the pleasure of traveling beyond the boundaries of Magdeburg to visit the west side of the country. The project manager for our bilingual/environmental education kindergarten wanted to spread the word about our unique endeavor and also rub elbows with some other prominent zoo educators, and the prime location for these activities was the European Zoo Educators conference in Cologne. Representatives from 22 countries attended, which meant that something like 16 languages were represented as well. Fortunately for my ignorant American self, the conference is now always conducted in English, since it is the language of science and the most common second language in Europe.

When Shannon, and I arrived in Cologne, the first thing we noticed was that west German people look more...American than the east German people we've been seeing in Magdeburg. Cologne attracts a lot of tourists and while riding the tram in heavily touristed areas, we had a hard time guessing which passengers were Germans and which were Americans or Canadians (until we heard them speak, of course). We still apparently stood out like neon signs though, because twice people asked us if we needed help navigating the city when we weren't even lost.

We spent much of our time sitting in the conference room in Cologne listening to presentations and discussing the future of environmental education in Europe, but since the conference was held at the Cologne zoo, when we had breaks, we could take a few minutes to watch the cheetahs lounging or the red pandas gnawing bamboo. During coffee breaks and check-out-what-the-lemurs-are-doing breaks, I met people from The Netherlands, Scotland, Croatia, Finland, Estonia, the Ukraine and the Czech Republic. Everyone wore nametags stating their home zoo and home city, but Shannon's had been misprinted to read "Magdeburgoo." By the end of the conference, we had received standing invitations to visit zoos in Munich, Duesseldorf, Halle, and Copenhagen.

If my linguistic skills seemed limited in Magdeburg, they were down-right moronic in the company of the European zoo educators. The man I met from Estonia spoke Estonian as his first language, and then subsequently learned Russian, German, Finnish, and English. Not all of the participants at the conference spoke perfect English, but considering they were on their third or fouth or fifth foreign language, I forgave them and just tried harder to understand despite thick accents. One man from Switzerland gave a very entertaining presentation on exhibit design, pointing out that modern zoos should hire smaller companies with more innovative ideas to avoid the current problem of all zoos having exhibits that look exactly the same. His reasoning was sound and his ideas were clever (it's true, why would you want to see another gorilla exhibit in Portland when you know it looks exactly like the one in Seattle? And why would you put up expensive fake rockery in your orangutan exhibit when you know orangutans don't live near giant rockeries?) but he had one slide in his Power Point presentation that read "MONOTOMY!" and I had to keep myself from laughing. Of course he meant "monotony." I can't be too smug about that though, since I made my own very embarrassing mistake while trying to wish my project manager good luck in a meeting. Germans say "I'll press my thumbs" instead of "I'll cross my fingers," but apparently the word for "thumb" is similar to the word for "stupid," so I meant to wish her good luck, but what I actually said was, "I'll press my stupids for you!"

While I enjoyed talking to people from other countries and learning about their zoo programs, I have to admit, the food was also a noteworthy highlight. The Cologne zoo knows how to throw a party. On the first night for the conference's "ice-breaker" event we received a light dinner of cheeses, salads, soup, and traditional German deli-style meats in the zoo restaurant, which has a romanticly lit, warm atmosphere, and of course we were served all the beer and wine we could ever want. The next night the catering team concocted an amazing array of Chinese food (yes, apparently they have that in Germany) including stuffed wontons and several stir-frys. Oh, and of course, all the beer and wine we could ever want. Dessert was one of those fountains which drizzles warm chocolate onto various goodies, and I now vouch for chocolate-covered honeydew melon as the new rival for chocolate-covered strawberries. Also, chocolate-coverd mini-muffins were a new treat that I probably should never enjoy again if I'd like to continue fitting into my jeans. On the last night of the conference our departing dinner was served in the aquarium, another venue with a romantic atmosphere, only this time it included seahorses and damsel fish drifting by while we ate. The menu this evening was another traditional German meal consisting of fried potatoes, salted pork, and fresh tomato basil salad, oh, and don't forget--all the beer and wine we could ever want.

When we weren't being stuffed with gourmet foods, Shannon and I explored a little of Cologne's city center. We had practically been ordered to see the Dom (German word for cathedral) which has rightfully earned its fame by being the largest cathedral in Germany and arguably the most beautiful (Germany's second largest dom is in Magdeburg). Admittedly, if I were to try to describe the dom, it would sound just like every other old church you can think of: stained glass, candles on the alters, high ceilings, paintings of the apostles etc. But I was impressed. This cathedral was absolutely cavernous. If you looked up to see the tops of the stained-glass windows, they were so high you just about fell over backwards, and the organ was so enormous it looked like it might blast a hole right through the stone walls if someone tried to play a hymn. The outer edges of the gigantic rooms were lined with tombs of important men, and if you carefully picked your way down a staircase, part of the crypt that was used hundreds of years ago was open for viewing. My only regret was that our visit was too late in the day for pictures to turn out well, as the cathedral is lit entirely by candles and whatever sunlight can sneak in through the stained glass.

After we experienced the ancient church, we moved on to experience the hip and trendy pedestrian-only shopping strip. There we discovered a Kentucky Fried Chicken (not KFC!) and numerous high-end botiques from various countries. And for our cultural edification we also visited the Cologne city museum to look at the statues of city officials and artifacts from medieval battles. The museum's exhibits also included many artifacts from the world wars, the most memorable of which was a small calandar where a German woman had kept track of every air raid the Allies made on Cologne between 1942 and 1945. June of 1943 was the worst month, with 123 little tally marks.

Now we've returned to Magdeburg and after thirteen days in a row without a break, I finally have a weekend! After I've caught up on all my chores, the plan is to be very German by sitting in a cafe for hours, drinking hot chocolate, reading, and doing crossword puzzles. That's the life.