Misinterpretations: nicht gut Deutsch

I will admit that I earned straight A's in the equivalent of three semesters of high school German. Further, I will admit that I did quite well in another three semesters of German courses at Pacific Lutheran University. Additionally, I will admit that I spent January of 2003 in German-speaking countries. Lastly, I will admit that my German is very poor. In the time that I have been in Magdeburg my language skills have improved significantly, but not so much as to avoid awkward misunderstandings and funny looks. Here are a few of my "lost in translation" experiences.

Early in my stay here, I tried to mail a post card to my pals at the Wild Wonders Outdoor Theater in Tacoma. When I got to the post office I first thought I was a complete moron because I could not figure out how to open the door to get into the post office. Noticing my puzzlement, a lady behind the glass doors started calling something to me in German. She was yelling through the door "Zu! Zu!" As far as I knew, "zu" was a preposition meaning "to" (as in, Suzanne failed TO send the post card). Later I remembered that "zu" also is a word for "closed" (as in, Suzanne stop trying to open the door, the post office is CLOSED!) And that is why WWOT zookeepers have yet to receive their post card.

Another mistake I made that was more from cultural confusion than a language barrier happened after I learned that Germans shake hands all the time. Every morning when employees arrive at work, they shake hands; kids meeting on the tram shake hands, and sometimes people shake hands when they say goodbye. Americans have a very limited number of situations where hand-shaking is encouraged, so I had trouble knowing when to extend my hand to anyone. To add to the confusion, there are some Germans who don't like the tradition of shaking hands and will not offer a handshake, and there are some who know enough about America to know that culturally we do not shake hands every day and they will NOT offer to shake my hand. So one day when I was leaving the zoo after spending the day with a very kind keeper and he extended his hand, saying something very quickly in German, I shook his hand. He repeated the sentence and extended his hand again. That time, I paid better attention and understood that he was telling me I needed to return my keys...NOT trying to shake my hand. Oops.

Sometimes the mistakes are not from failure to understand the actual words, but from a failure to understand the meaning behind them. When I went to sign the contract for my new apartment, the agent attempted to make small talk with me IN ENGLISH. His English was not good. In German the word "do" isn't used as often as in English whereas the word for "make" is used more often. For instance if you want to know what someone's career is, you might ask literally, "What do you make?" Even though I knew this, the difference led to some slight confusion because the agent asked me in English, "What do you make at the zoo?" wanting to know what I DID at the zoo. I, having forgotten that the German agent might not understand the difference, answered, "About 2,000 Euro per month." Not what he was looking for.

I have even had a problem or two with the language when I am not speaking with anyone. In stores, I have to stare at the ingredients on containers of food for what probably seems like an inordinate amount of time to discern what the items actually are. Pictures on the boxes of food really help. I mostly have made good decisions regarding my edible purchases and can even read menus no problem. However, last week in an attempt to buy butter, I accidentally purchased what turned out to be a block of squishy, grey YEAST, which does not taste anything like butter. At all.

Lastly (just lastly for this post, not lastly overall, as I'm sure to make many further ridiculous errors with language), when another zookeeper asked me what kinds of wild cats I had previously cared for, I meant to say I cared for a lynx, but I am fairly certain that the word I actually said was "hole." Yes, earlier in my career, I used to care for...a hole.